Supporting Neurodiversity in Foster Care: Embracing Differences through CARE

Have you ever met a child who sees the world in a completely unique way?

Maybe they notice details you’d never think twice about or they have an incredible ability to focus on something they love. That’s the beauty of neurodiversity; every brain works a little differently! But for neurodivergent children in foster care, their journey can come with extra challenges, especially if the world around them isn’t built with their needs in mind.

So, how do we make sure neurodivergent children in care feel safe, supported, and understood?

That’s where CARE: Creating Conditions for Change comes in. It’s all about meeting children where they are at, helping them build on their strengths, and creating environments where they can truly thrive. Let’s dive into how we can do just that.

What makes neurodivergent children in care unique?

Some children in care might have diagnoses like autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences, while others might not have a label but still experience the world in a way that’s different from their peers. And here’s the thing, being in foster care means they’re already likely struggling with things like trauma, instability, and inconsistent caregiving, which can make it even harder for a neurodivergent child to navigate a world that already feels overwhelming.

Some common struggles include:

• Sensory overload: Hypersensitivity to stimuli such as bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, or certain textures can feel overwhelming and even unbearable.
• Big emotions: Understanding, managing, and regulating emotions can be challenging, particularly during stressful or unfamiliar situations.
• Communication differences: Expressing needs, understanding language, or interpreting social cues may be difficult, leading to frustration or misunderstandings.
• Struggles with change: Unexpected changes in routine can cause significant stress and anxiety. A consistent structure and predictable environment are often critical to providing a sense of safety and control.
• Executive functioning challenges: Neurodivergent children may experience difficulties with executive functioning skills, which are crucial for managing everyday tasks. Challenges with time management, organisation, planning ahead, starting tasks, or remembering instructions can make schoolwork, home routines, and social activities more overwhelming.

How the CARE principles help neurodivergent children thrive

1. Keep things predictable

For a lot of neurodivergent children, routines are everything. When things feel predictable, the world becomes less overwhelming and more manageable. This closely aligns with the developmentally focused principle from CARE, which emphasises creating environments that meet children where they are developmentally.

• Try this: Use visual schedules, countdown timers, and gentle reminders for transitions.
• Why it helps: Knowing what to expect makes it easier for children to relax and focus on what’s happening in the moment.

2. Look at behaviour as communication

Sometimes, what looks like a meltdown or non-cooperation is really just a child saying, “I’m overwhelmed and don’t know how to handle this.” Understanding behaviour through a trauma-informed lens reminds us to recognise how past experiences can shape a child’s response to stress and shifts our approach when responding to the child.

• Try this: When a child is struggling, pause and ask, “What are they trying to tell me?” rather than reacting right away.
• Why it helps: When we focus on the need behind the behaviour, we can respond in a way that actually helps instead of escalating the situation.

3. Make spaces sensory friendly

The world can feel overwhelming and intense for children with sensory sensitivities. Creating environments that are aligned to the ecologically orientated principle where children feel comfortable, safe, and supported can make a huge difference in their ability to engage, learn, and connect. Allied health professionals can provide tailored strategies and advice to create sensory-friendly environments that meet each child’s unique needs. They can also work directly with children to build self-regulation skills and recommend specific tools or modifications to enhance comfort and engagement.

• Try this: Offer sensory supports like fidget toys, noise-cancelling headphones, opportunities for movement (such as climbing, running, or spinning), or create a quiet corner where children can retreat and recharge when needed.
• Why it helps: Sensory tools empower children to regulate their emotions, manage sensory input, and feel more in control of their environment. This sense of regulation supports their overall wellbeing and ability to participate fully.

4. Build strong, trusting relationships

The relationship based principle from CARE teaches us that relationships are the foundation for healing and growth. For neurodivergent children, many of whom may have felt misunderstood, judged, or unsupported in the past, having a safe, trusting adult can be life changing.

• Try this: Be consistent, validate their feelings, and celebrate their unique way of experiencing the world. Show curiosity and compassion rather than judgment.
• Why it helps: When we shift our perspective from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” we recognise that behaviour is often a response to past experiences, not a flaw. This approach fosters deeper empathy and understanding. When children feel truly seen, heard, and accepted, they are far more likely to open up, build confidence, and engage meaningfully in learning and growth.

5. Focus on strengths instead of deficits

Too often, neurodivergent children hear about what they struggle with instead of what they’re amazing at. But when we flip the script and build on their strengths, incredible things can happen. This approach is closely aligned to the CARE principle of competency centred, which encourages us to recognise and nurture the unique abilities of each child. By focusing on what they can do, we help children to develop confidence, resilience, a sense of mastery and help them realise their full potential and thrive.

• Try this: If a child loves dinosaurs, use that interest to teach new skills, like math, reading or even social interactions.
• Why it helps: When learning is tied to something they love, children feel more confident and engaged.

Changing how we see neurodiversity

One of the most important shifts we can make is in how we view neurodiversity. Instead of seeing it as a challenge or deficit, we can recognise it as a strength and a different way of experiencing the world. Neurodivergent children bring creativity, deep focus, unique problem-solving skills, and fresh perspectives to the table. They don’t need to be “fixed”. They need environments that embrace their differences and provide opportunities for them to thrive.

Final thoughts

At the end of the day, supporting neurodivergent children in foster care is about creating spaces where they feel safe, accepted, and valued for who they are. The CARE framework helps us do just that by focusing on relationships, development, and individual needs.

Whether you’re a foster carer, caseworker, teacher, or therapist, you have the power to make a huge difference. By embracing neurodiversity and meeting children where they are at, we help them to not just get by but truly thrive.

Together in care, we can ensure every child has a great day, every day.