Returning to school can be a big adjustment for children and families. You might notice your child becoming harder to settle, more easily distracted or frustrated, or more withdrawn in the weeks after school returns. For some children, these changes can even begin in the final part of the holidays.
Often, these shifts are not a sign that something is “wrong”. They are a child’s way of responding to change, increased demands, and uncertainty. Many children are not aware of what is contributing to how they are feeling and may not yet have the language to explain it.
To support families and foster carers during this transition, our Allied Health team has created a Back-to-school support guide and a one-page Back-to-school checklist. These resources are designed to help you understand what might be influencing changes in behaviour and offer practical, flexible ways to support your child at home and in partnership with their school.
Below are some common factors that can influence children’s behaviour during the return to school, along with gentle ways to support them.
Social concerns
Social relationships are a central part of school life and worries in this area can have a significant impact on wellbeing. Children may be thinking about:
- Whether they will fit in or maintain friendships
- Concerns about being judged, excluded or picked on
- Uncertainty about having someone to play with, or being able to play in the way they prefer
- Missing familiar people if they have moved to a different class
- Changes in friendships or social identity if siblings are starting at the same school
Even when these worries are not spoken about, they can show up through behaviour, mood, or withdrawal.
What can help
The Back-to-school support guide includes strategies for supporting social confidence, managing friendship worries and strengthening connections at home. The checklist can also help you reflect on whether social stress may be contributing to changes you are noticing.
Academic and classroom demands
Returning to school often brings increased expectations and demands. Children may feel pressure related to:
- Keeping up with classwork or getting answers “right”
- Adjusting to a new teacher or classroom environment
- Starting new subjects or more complex topics
- Sitting still and paying attention for longer periods
- Managing increased homework or assignments
For children who already find learning effortful, these demands can quickly become overwhelming.
What can help
The Back-to-school support guide outlines ways to support learning demands without adding pressure, including regulation strategies and signs that extra support may be helpful. The checklist includes prompts to help you reflect on classroom expectations, fatigue, and recovery after school.
Transitions and changes to routine
Holidays are often more relaxed and flexible, while school requires structure, predictability, and earlier starts. This shift can be difficult for many children. Common challenges include:
- Changes in classrooms, seating or daily schedules
- Earlier mornings and less flexible sleep routines
- Less time for preferred activities and play
- Different activities on different days
Some children rely heavily on routines to feel safe and organised. Even returning to a familiar school schedule can feel unsettling after time away.
What can help
The one-page checklist is particularly useful for identifying routine changes that may be impacting your child. The Back-to-school support guide provides practical strategies for easing transitions, rebuilding predictability, and supporting regulation during busy parts of the day.
When children can’t explain what’s going on
Many children are not able to identify or explain why they feel more dysregulated, frustrated, hyperactive, lonely, or overwhelmed. What we see as behaviour is often communication.
If your child is able to talk about what is worrying them, gentle conversations can be helpful. If they are unsure or don’t want to talk, offering extra support can make a meaningful difference.
This might include:
- Increased connection, such as one-on-one time, play or shared activities
- Physical comfort, such as hugs or sitting together
- Validation and reassurance that returning to school can be hard for many people
- Highlighting what they are doing well
- Offering small choices to support a sense of control
- Being a little more flexible and gentler during the first few weeks
Both the guide and checklist are designed to support these approaches in ways that feel manageable and realistic.
Using the back-to-school resources
Some families like to start with the Back-to-school support guide to better understand what may be influencing their child’s behaviour and explore supportive strategies. Others prefer to begin with the one-page checklist as a quick way to reflect on routines, regulation, and school demands.
There is no right order. You can use one or both resources in the way that feels most helpful for your family and return to them at different points during the school term.
Be kind to yourself too
Caring for children is demanding, and changes in behaviour often happen at times when families are already under pressure. It is important to be kind to yourself during this transition. Small steps, flexibility and compassion, for both your child and yourself, can go a long way.
When extra support can help
If your child continues to find the return to school challenging, or if you would like additional guidance around regulation, anxiety, behaviors or transitions, support from an Allied Health professional can be helpful.
Our Allied Health team offers psychology, behaviour support, and psychosocial recovery coaching. The Back-to-school support guide and checklist can also be used as a starting point for conversations with our team about what support may be most helpful.
